bench in winter

Splattered elbow deep,
with paint I used to put a bitter smile on my lip,
I fell asleep, holding a pillow-man’s hand.

The day I wake, when winter comes,
I’ll sit on the bench in a park, tasting the bitter-sweet
wind, with news of someones return.

And then, waist deep into December
marked by signatures of lost years
in snowy footprints on the meadow I will find you

When darkness passes into morning,
your smile will lighten the careful silence
built by your fears and my mistakes.

by T

I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love.” is what Mother Theresa once said.

I’ve been hurt so many times I wouldn’t be able to keep count and yet again I always find myself experiencing deeper, truer and stronger love and devotion than before. Thats how I’ve been and how I always want to be. I find myself unhappy sometimes, just like anyone else, I have my moments of weakness, I cry and hurt…but I can only be true to my heart…so then, I love again. There is no feeling more purifying and relieving than love. Try it, understand it, live it, feel it…

Preach about what God teaches us? I don’t want to quote His words here, because its something every single one of us should do and achieve in life, regardless of their religious beliefs. So I’ll write my words instead…Don’t hurt people intentionally, no matter how they treat you, everyone feels misunderstood inside and feels they need to defend what they stand for. If someone hurts you intentionally…think of what I wrote in my first sentence…for love can bend and break the worst enemy and the worst enemy can be your friend if you make them see things they couldn’t look past once. Please learn forgiveness and learn it faster, maybe so, you’ll teach someone else about it…we don’t have enough time in this world as it is. Love takes no less than everything they say, so give everything, if you keep it in, you can’t call it love, because only then you’ll learn that it soothens your soul when its returned in the numerous ways we don’t even acknowledge. Don’t give up on anything or anyone, keep hoping even tho you’ve been disappointed, keep believing even tho you’ve been betrayed, keep loving even tho you’ve been hurt, because trough all of the sacrifices and trials you went, you learned how to appreciate and realize the importance of people who have touched your life. And thats true happiness…to see the world and people around you, to feel the wind, to hear the music…and to know how fully you live, because the ones who touch your soul in all different ways, make the journey worth while.

As I’d be called stupid or naive by some, for forgiving before I even had time to be angry, others might find it inspiring and touching. you can believe strength is to not let yourself be hurt again…well…I think strength is in the character that was able to overcome resentment, especially by the people he or she loved the most, the one that overcomes hurt, turns it into love and knows to forgive quickly.

Just…love the ones around you, they all have a secret that tears their heart apart…don’t let yourself be unhappy for too long. Sadness, hate, anger, none of them should break your spirit forever…and never think you don’t deserve true love and true happiness, you will feel it from within when you let yourself see. Some have been blessed with people who love them unconditionally, selflessly and forever, but they don’t see them…Learn to appreciate the wonders that have been given to you, don’t resent them, don’t blame them, don’t forget them and don’t deny them…because words can hurt…but your silence will break their hearts…

So when you’re hurt…go beyond it…there is where you’ll find love again. And love your wonders, they’ll make your life worth living.



Who am I to say…

… this is or isn’t the perfect place to write…I’m sitting outside, should really be jumping and kicking the yellowish leaves that started falling and announcing Autumn visiting early this year. Even the chestnuts know it, they’ve been drumming their little fall-and-open-composition-masterpiece over our neighbors roof… tap… roll and swish into our backyard… tap… roll and swish next to my foot. The rhythmical creaking of our old swing stops. I put both my feet on the ground and I take it out of its, still lithe green protective coat, flip it around in my fingers a couple of times and let it fall again. The creaking starts again… with the low thumping of this chestnuts millions of brothers against the roof and the distant murmur of wind playing with the treetops it remains the only sound cutting into the silent solitude I find here.